How to speak Colombian Spanish #2: ‘Sorry’

1) “Lo siento,” – said in a low tone, accompanied by a wide mouth grimace and a look of fear.

Literal meaning: I’m sorry/I regret it.
Actual meaning: I’m shit scared, I know I’m in the wrong and you have every right to kick my ass.
Best Used: When you’ve invaded someone else’s country.

2) “Perdoname,” – said with a slightly smaller grimace and guilty smile.

Literal meaning: Pardon my action.
Actual meaning: I actually feel a little bad about this, but not enough to rectify my actions.
Best Used: When you’ve bailed on a long-term plan because a family member of yours needs a lift home from the airport.

3) “Disculpe,” – said briskly with irritated expression.

Literal meaning: Excuse me/Sorry I bumped you.
Actual meaning: Get out of my way.
Best Used: When you have just fallen on someone’s head in a frantic attempt to exit TransMilenio.

4) “Que pena,” – said with wide apologetic eyes and a worried smile implanted on a look of faux-genuine horror.

Literal meaning: What a pity.
Actual meaning: I couldn’t care less.
Best Used: When you have genuinely done something wrong and it IS all your fault – but there is no way you are going to take responsibility e.g. accidentally knocking an old lady under a speeding truck.