Colombians and phone calls: The love affair of the century?

April 10, 2016


Love affair of the century?

Some months ago I went to visit a Colombian friend who now lives in another country and that’s the sort of trip I like to make because it means comparing notes on how it feels to be a foreigner. My friend has just two issues with his new country. The first is that some of the […]

Posted in: Bogotá, Colombia

Let this be the year I finish last

February 13, 2016


Kill you Oscar... or convert you?

The shiny new year that is 2016 has been with us for what? 44 days now and already, I’m having a bit of a weird one. Today I was awarded Colombian residency. By the end of the year we’ll probably be at peace. A year of change it’s going to be then, for my adopted […]

There is a campsite in the Serengeti

January 14, 2016



There is a campsite in the Serengeti where the lions arrive at night. They sleep under the tourists’ vehicles, where it’s warm, and when the tourists see them in the morning they are afraid to leave their tents and have their breakfast, just in case the lions are yet to have theirs. Once the lions […]

Posted in: Africa, Serengeti

The invisible Bogotá demon that could teach us a thing or two about life

January 1, 2016



There is an invisible demon that haunts cities like Bogotá. It kills slowly, swelling your brain, dilating your blood vessels, leaking fluid into your lungs. It crushes your vascular system, pumps you full of blood clots and then it sits back and laughs as the very fibres of your being begin to hemorrhage. That demon is high […]

Posted in: Bogotá, Colombia

Fake it ’til you make it: The “Foreign” Colombians

August 9, 2015


What do you mean: "Where am I from?"

I was once asked out on a date by a guy who was half-Argentinian. I mean, he said his mother was from Argentina and he had that lovely slurring “juh” accent all Argentines have, except when I mentioned this to a good, Colombian, friend of mine he said: “Darling, you do realise that guy’s more Bucaramanga […]

Posted in: Bogota, Colombia

Colombia: Rum Country?

June 21, 2015


The future's bright?

A few years ago I was sent to Geneva to write an article and there isn’t an awful lot to do in Geneva, so I ended up in a chocolatier’s workshop, stuffing my face. The elderly chocolatier wore a grey three-piece suit and carried a large gold watch in his pocket, on a chain (I […]

Posted in: Bogotá, Colombia

The Bitter Truth About Brie

May 28, 2015



No-one ever knocks on the door at night. In fact, no-one ever visits at night, but if they do, they’re announced by the doorman, portero in Colombia, whose job it is to formally announce all visitors, from the plumber to the priest. It’s a bit like the way young girls were announced at London debutante balls in […]

Posted in: Bogotá, Colombia

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