Indiana Jones

Mosquitos… proof there is no God

My legs used to be my best physical feature. I am 6’1 and – my fondness for cake aside – I have the genes of two relatively skinny parents. As a result, I have long legs. They are reasonably shapely and, most importantly, they were always generally unmarked. I mourn this fact. My legs are […]

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How to make cocaine

“Do you like cocaine?” he asked, politely. I shook my head. “No, I don’t like,” I replied, in my best broken Spanish. “I think stupid.” The cocaine farmer laughed. “Do you like cocaine?” I asked, curiously. He shook his head and gave me a beautiful smile, revealing two rows of startlingly white teeth. “No, I […]

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