A life in Colombia
“How long has it been since you last went on a date?” my friends asked me, trying to be kind. I made a noise that sounded like “Um-I-don’t-know” but it was apparently so pathetic they decided I needed a plan. I was ordered to write a list of four people in my life whom I […]
MoreI am not a fan of the Transmilenio. I’m talking about the overly celebrated transport system that emerged in Bogotá when plans for an underground metro faltered (said plans have since been resurrected, but don’t hold your breath) Transmilenio is essentially a series of large, bendy buses with their own lanes, which move between clearly-marked […]
More“If ever there is a time to have a functional boat, this is probably it,” my cousin’s husband, Simon, remarked drily as we crossed the river in our mouldy wooden vessel. It was rainy season in the Amazon and much of the forest was flooded. There we were, rowing into that dark green abyss having […]
MorePeople always ask me why I chose Colombia. Well, if there is one thing you can say about Colombia; it’s always interesting. A Colombian fable: “When God was creating the world, he put gold into South Africa. But there was some was left over, so he threw it into Colombia. “Then he put coal into […]
MoreA piece I wrote after meeting the former world’s smallest man, 70-cm high Edward Niño Hernandez: “THE remark was almost casual. “Your baby is going to be a little small,” the doctor told a worried Nohemi Hernández when she was pregnant with her first child. He didn’t tell the nervous expectant mother her unborn child […]
MoreThe immigration officer was tall and burly. “So are you planning to be here a while?” he barked, as he closed the door of his interrogation room. “Yes, please,” I squeaked. I was trying and failing to mask an internal scream of desperation. “Well… everything looks fine with your application,” he began. Thank. Goodness. I […]
MoreAnyone who has ever spent time applying for a visa will know the process does not put you in the best of moods. Still, I was feeling reasonably cheery this morning. Yes, I had a 5am alarm call. Yes, I was standing in the wet, bedraggled queue outside the office at 7am. But, by 8am, […]
More“Do you need any help? Are you on your own?” the portly police officer asked me, looking concerned. “Yes, I’m alone,” I lied. It often makes life easier. In fact, I was attending my first ever bull fight – in the gloriously warm city of Medellin – with a photographer. He’d left to find his […]
MoreThe police officer looked apologetic. “It’s no longer here,” she said quietly. The room was suddenly very still. “The pigeon,” she repeated, raising a sorrowful smile. “We don’t have it any more.” She was referring to a young homing pigeon, used by enterprising criminals trying to smuggle 40g of marijuana (and five grams of cocaine) […]
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Banana Skin Flip Flops 