A life in Colombia
Her face and figure are familiar to millions. Dressed in a pink power outfit, complete with bleached blonde hair and spiky stilettos, she even came in her own giant pink box. Bogota’s very own Barbie was my favourite costume last night, but the real-life doll was not without competition. This is a city that does […]
MoreRomance. It’s an age-old argument; a classic battle of the sexes. Who craves it more – men or women? And, like a good red wine or right wing politics, is it something that appeals to us more as we age? Perhaps it’s the abundance of reasonably priced red roses or just the flamboyant Latin flattery […]
More“You don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone,” Janet Jackson once wisely proclaimed. I like to think she was talking about human rights. You know, that inconvenient old concept, enshrined in dozens of European and British laws, which apparently plenty of politicians in my country want to scrap and certainly millions of people in […]
MoreMy alarm sounded happily – it’s always cheerful at 5.30am – and, bleary-eyed, I jumped up and stumbled into the bathroom. I reached for my shampoo but it was blocked by a huge, brown furry shape. I was without my glasses and couldn’t quite understand what was happening. I tried again. Nope. There was definitely […]
MoreOne day I am going to speak such beautiful Spanish, people will believe I was born and raised in Plaza Simon Bolivar. Until that time, I will apparently make more ridiculous mistakes than all of my friends – due to a dyslexia-esque problem that forces me to confuse similar sounding words. For example: “Good afternoon, […]
More1) “Ella es mi amiga,” – said with a slight shrug and a twinkle in the eye. Literal meaning: She is my friend. Actual meaning: I have a crush on this girl and I’m just waiting for the right moment to persuade her to cheat on her boyfriend. 2) “Ella es mi amiga,” – said […]
More1) “Lo siento,” – said in a low tone, accompanied by a wide mouth grimace and a look of fear. Literal meaning: I’m sorry/I regret it. Actual meaning: I’m shit scared, I know I’m in the wrong and you have every right to kick my ass. Best Used: When you’ve invaded someone else’s country. 2) […]
More1) “Si, si,” – pronounced as short syllable, accompanied by a wide smile, nodding head and the occasional “bueno”. Literal meaning: Yes. Actual meaning: Most probably. 2) “Si-i,” – pronounced as a medium-length syllable, alongside a faint shoulder shrug and small smile. Literal meaning: Yes. Actual meaning: Maybe. 3) “Siiiiiii,” – pronounced as a long […]
More“How long has it been since you last went on a date?” my friends asked me, trying to be kind. I made a noise that sounded like “Um-I-don’t-know” but it was apparently so pathetic they decided I needed a plan. I was ordered to write a list of four people in my life whom I […]
MoreI am not a fan of the Transmilenio. I’m talking about the overly celebrated transport system that emerged in Bogotá when plans for an underground metro faltered (said plans have since been resurrected, but don’t hold your breath) Transmilenio is essentially a series of large, bendy buses with their own lanes, which move between clearly-marked […]
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Banana Skin Flip Flops 