A life in Colombia
I have always hated rollercoasters. My knuckles are white when Bogotá taxi drivers negotiate sharp corners and I generally distrust motorbikes. If asked about my many pointless fears, I gently insist there is nothing enjoyable in “unnecessary adrenaline”. But one of the few worthwhile rushes is the feeling of finding or writing a really good […]
MoreThe bus had been stationary for an unusually long time. I switched off my iPod and looked behind me. It was empty. I looked at the driver and the bus conductor, who were both staring at me with pity splashed across their faces. “Er, I go to 68th street? This bus is not correct?” I […]
More“Don’t go near that duck,” my housemate ordered, as we walked to our corner shop. “It’s a psycho.” I watched the huge bird with some confusion as it waddled along the pavement, squawking angrily. The four of us live in a two-storey house in the middle of an urban area in central Bogota. Although I […]
More“What is this green splodge here?” I murmured politely. “That?” whispered the artist, leaning forward. “That was the time I came home drunk, tripped up the stairs and knocked over a tin of paint with my ass.” “Oh,” I whispered. “And what is that large red streak there?” “Ah,” said the artist, stroking his chin. […]
MoreAsk me if I’m competitive. “I am not competitive,” I will reply indignantly. “I’m one of those easy going people.” I will probably pause and smile innocently. “I’m quite happy for other people to have their success,” I will insist, shrugging my shoulders. “I’m just happy to go with the flow.” Ah, how well we […]
More“I want a lodger who is sensible about lights and showering and the electricity generally,” the advertisement read. “Not because I worry about the expense, but because I worry about the environment.” I read that description when I was searching for an apartment in Bogotá (for those of you worrying, I’m now permanently renting a […]
More“You look at them with such pity,” Diego snapped. I hurriedly averted my eyes from the forlorn figure of a tramp, huddled beneath his blanket in a filthy shop doorway. “Oh, it’s an English thing,” I said hurriedly. “They usually have dogs and you know how English people feel about dogs.” “No, you feel sorry […]
MoreGah! I think I’m turning into a Latino. I was in the supermarket the other day, skulking among the tomatoes, when I spotted a tall, blonde girl at the checkout. I was momentarily surprised. Every other shopper and staff member was short and dark. She shone like a beacon. The girl had her back to […]
MoreI might dance like a blind giraffe. But I am determined to master the art of salsa. That’s the only reason I have spent the past five months agreeing to dance with every Latino who grins my way. Now I live in Bogota I have no excuse for not taking some organised classes. Last night […]
MoreTalk about speaking too soon. The day after I wrote my stroppy little blog about being unable to secure any work, two agencies offered me some classes. Starting this week. I should be teaching my first pupil, an auditor who heads a team of accountants, for an hour-and-a-half early on a Wednesday and for two […]
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Banana Skin Flip Flops 